Well… regardless of my expectations before my injury and what I took for granted would still exist as I began my recover, I must move forward with my light. It’s not paradise, maybe the opposite, and I am not alone.
Before my injury, I didn’t let people see me. I had a shell around me that kept all or most of me hidden. My hubby got through it, but not many others did. There are many reasons for this, and it started very very young. In my family, kids were to be seen n not heard and they needed to obey in every way or punishments ensued. At least for the girls.. the boys got to do anything they wanted to. never had to do chores or clean the house and it always pissed me off. However, if I showed this or said anything I was ridiculed and told it was woman’s work and other sexist bullshit. And I hated it. I grew to keep all that inside, because my family didn’t believe women could be strong or independent or successful without a man.
I know what we have experienced has shaped who we are. I also believe that no matter your circumstances, we all have a beautiful light in us that just needs a safe place and a bit of healthy love to be able to emerge and share with the world. We do not start bad, our environment, our family and our society put us in a box and circumstances take over and we go with it. I think that’s the hamster wheel most of us get stuck on. I didn’t know there was another way, now I do and I want to urge you to take the journey. If you are already walking this path and sharing your light with the world, then thank you.
Thank you for making the effort to let your light into the world, this world, now more than any time I can remember, needs your light. I see this when I volunteer. When people are so shell shocked by what is happening in their country and to the ones they love, they walk around stunned, not really even showing up in the world. Now… when I shock them out of that, and I look at them with all my sparkle and I can see the light flicker in their eyes again, I know the ripple works. When others say, wow, I really needed that smile; and they are half way or 3/4 way through their day and didn’t get that yet…. that’s not paradise, maybe it’s the opposite. and even in the darkest hour, there is a light if you look for it.
Put your head up, smile at your fellow humans and remember, you are not alone. Share a hug, pass on a smile, just be kind; we all have it in us and when the world is especially shitty we can not ignore what is happening, AND we can share love with others and support and encourage when the world seems set against everything you believe and treating people kind, that is when we need to be extra kind, that’s a note to myself too. Sometimes, what’s happened seems past every ounce of humanity I ever imagined for my country; and we can’t lose our light. For if we let them diminish that, they have won; and there is no quarter for bullies, they don’t GET TO WIN! we will prevail because we are on the side of humanity and kindness.
And we will have moments when they make our blood boil…. I still can’t willingly be around people who support trump, maybe some day… but I am not there yet. I am not ok with the belief and hidden or outright blatant disregard for other humans and their support of racism. I just can’t do it yet. If you are able to, I would love to hear from you about how you are doing this, because I don’t want to shop at businesses that support him and remove their DEI initiatives and I don’t want to be around people who think putting people in camps/cages/Guantanamo or ethnic cleansing/genocide gaza is ok, or being a homophobe, racist or sexist. and putting your head in the sand is no longer ok… And when men condescend when you are talking to them and say ‘you seem upset’.. and this is what I think of those jerks who think its not ok to be upset about your body and your rights and people being treated less because they are not white men.
well, it’s my fkn body and my damn rights you asshole, of course i’m upset.
or the one that is probably when I can eventually be calm and not so mad at the world I have woken up to, I promise, I’m trying… but….. not there yet….
You seem to support the degradation and slavery of other humans… it’s upsetting..
I guess I am just not that big of a person yet. maybe some day… not today, me thinks…
-Valkyrie
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